laevateinns | caelum inbox

[ wtf. wtf.

how can ryuji just say something like that? what does he mean, lonely? akechi making friends here?

why—

why does that answer fill him with so much relief— ]

Do whatever you want. I won’t stop you.

[ …ryuji is welcome to take that as accidental permission to move into the room next to him, of course. ]

[ He does. Because Akechi isn't the only one feeling an immense amount of relief at the reply he gets. When Akechi gives that somewhat approval for Ryuji to stay, Ryuji smiles at his phone, feeling more cheered up now than he has since Akira broke the news to him that he was leaving. ]

thanks!!

u know u can talk to me anytime right? i know its gonna be a lil sad now that hes gone but im here for u, man

[ the fact that something so small could make ryuji feel better… akechi would be blown away in shock if he knew.

as it is, he’s blown away in shock by ryuji’s thoughtful and kind offer because… what the hell ]

I’m not sure what you expect me to say. He was here and now he isn’t, and I’ll probably never see him again.

[ he doesn’t seem to realize just how revealing even saying that is.

but then he— wait. he realizes— was ryuji… did ryuji… ]

Do YOU need someone to talk to about it?

[ surely he wouldn’t go to akechi for that. right?? right???? ]

[ surely he wouldn't! except that he would and that's part of the reason he texted akechi in the first place. he just needed... someone. and akechi was the first person to came to mind. once he thought of the other boy, no one else seemed to be the right person to talk to. ]

that must bum u out a little tho. not being able to see him again, or anyone else either. im sorry, akechi.

[ and then he considers the offer because yeah... he is feeling kind of messed up about all this. ]

im kind of sad. i thought wed be here together for longer. part of me wonders if i shouldve gone home w him but it didnt feel right yet to go. idk.

[ oh, god. he DID come to akechi for this. akechi is completely Shaken(tm) for a second before he prepares himself to tell ryuji to fuck off and find someone who cares. ]

It's not unreasonable that you'd hope for more time together. At least when you do eventually return, you won't have missed anything back there, though I suppose that isn't the same for him: missing time here right now.

[ FAILED STEP ONE??? what is he DOING... as for himself... he scoffs at the message, even if ryuji is right. ]

You have nothing to be sorry for. This is completely a consequence of my own actions.

An interesting punishment, wouldn't you say?

[ Ryuji is so relieved that Akechi is willing to talk to him... this is already making him feel loads better and he's quite happy about it. ]

yeah ur right. i guess the best thing to do is make sure the time i spend here is worth sharing w him when we meet again!!

[ Time to make some memories!! ]

do u think being here is rly ur punishment? i kinda thought itd be like reahbltiation

[ HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL REHABILITATION LEAVE HIM ALONE ]

[ ryuji is taking that surprisingly well, but… akechi is all too good at pretending, and trying to fake it until you make it.

so, he wonders…

the question throws him off though. ]

You don’t think it’s a punishment? Certainly it’s provided me with opportunities I would not have normally had, but it’s also given me all manner of frustrations.

[ an amused laugh, even if ryuji can’t hear it. ]

…Though I suppose that’s just living, isn’t it?

Regardless, I’m not interested in any kind of rehabilitation. What’s to rehabilitate? I know I’ve done awful things and deserve to be held accountable for them.

[ HE WONT MENTION THE SPELLING… THIS TIME ]

[ Don't look too closely, man. He's not as good at pretend as you are.

So, he's a little relieved to be talking about Akechi instead of himself. Time to deflect. ]

if it was punishment u wouldnt be walking around so freely would u? if anything what happened w maruki was more of a punishment than this

if its not rehabltation or punishment maybe its a second chance instead

A second chance?

[ what exactly qualifies him for a second chance? he had his chance and he failed, couldn't even do the one goal he set his life to. and... it's not like people like his mom got a second chance.

so why him?

he huffs, frowning at the screen. ]

Is that what you think? That'll I'll suddenly become a paragon because I'm still alive- here, at least?

[ Ryuji rolls his eyes as he gets the response back, as if everything is more simple than Akechi is alluding to.

He doesn't really know what a paragon is but he gets the gist. ]

u do know u dont have to be a good person to deserve to live right? u can be perfectly average and not deserve to die. u can even be a bad person and not deserve to die.

u did bad things sureb ut now ur just getting a chance to be a normal person. u dont have shido in ur ear telling u who to kill and what to do. u can just be u, no fake shit. thats ur second chance.

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